I haven't gotten to write much lately as things have been just so so crazy around my house lately .Everyone is still taking papas passing so so hard its tearing my family apart. . . that on top of some other issues another family member has been having its been tough.I am finally starting to feel human again although some days are still harder than others there are always those moments and memories that just hit you so hard at the worst times and just break you down. I still go and visit papa a few times a week , i stop by his grave site to sit and talk, and cry and tell him everything that's going on. It really has been good for me . I hate an amazing experience last week that im sure many people would call crazy but i think it was real. I had a dream and papa was in my dream, but it wasn't my grandfather sick and just trying to pull through it was him healthy. happy. smiling and laughing. He was with me and it was amazing. When i woke up from that dream i woke up with a calm feeling and i felt the best i have felt in months. I feel like it was him letting me know that hes ok hes healthy and happy and free now . I just selfishly wish he was all those things here with us, but ill take what i can get .
My poor ava is so so sick right now she has such a bad cough and cold and im afraid its turning into something more ..ugh its that time of year for her ! i know shes sick because shes been laying on the couch for about 2 hours just relaxing and if you know ava you know she never lays around during the day...hopefully with all the fluids ive been pushing and cough and cold meds ill have caught it in time and she will be on the mend once again !
im trying to work hard at getting my at home business up and going its just trying to get the word out there ..ugh .. oh well ive gutta get going another busy day of mommy life today :-) .
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